Geeky Lorem Ipsum Text

After 11 days of writing, and a ridiculously long and difficulty week, I was sorely tempted to make a blog post that was nothing but lorem ipsum text.

And then I thought … hey, I could do a blog post about lorem ipsum text. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, lorem ipsum is Latin text used by designers, web developers, and others when they want people to focus on the layout of a page rather than on the contents of the page. Read more about it at Wikipedia.

Since few people can read Latin, the text doesn’t distract them from the task at hand. It looks and flows like English (or French, or German) but its nonsensical.

Of course, work on enough web projects and eventually you get bored of the same old Latin. That’s when it’s helpful to have some geeky replacements.

Zombie Ipsum

Some projects are so tortuously boring you can feel your brains leaking out your ears. Yummmm. Braaaaains!

Liven up those projects with some Zombie Ipsum, which sprinkles notable zombie characters, undead characteristics, and good ol’Latin (I think it’s Latin) into one almost readable mix:

Example: Zombie ipsum reversus ab viral inferno, nam rick grimes malum cerebro. De carne lumbering animata corpora quaeritis. Summus brains sit​​, morbo vel maleficia? De apocalypsi gorger omero undead survivor dictum mauris. Hi mindless mortuis soulless creaturas, imo evil stalking monstra adventus resi dentevil vultus comedat cerebella viventium.

Klingon Ipsum

For years the layout and pagination program QuarkXPress was legendary for its lorem ipsum text generators, including included the standard Latin, and decidedly non-standard Klingon. Sadly it has since been removed (and even if it hadn’t been, I’d no longer have access to Quark), but thankfully Shooshee posted a nice block of Klingon Ipsum text to her Tumblr:

Example: Qapla. Dah tlhingan hol mu ghom a dalegh. Qawhaqvam chenmohlu di wiqipe diya ohvad ponglu. Ach jinmolvamvad Saghbe law tlhingan hol, dis, oh mevmohlu. Ach dis jar wa mahcha dich wikia jinmoldaq vihta. Hov lengvad chenmohlu tlhingan hol e ej dah oh ghojtah ghot law.

The beauty of Klingon, unlike many of the other Lorem Ipsum alternatives I’m writing about, is that it’s still incomprehensible. Your brain may try and read it, but unless you’re a hard core Star Trek fan, it’s going to fail.

Quenya Ipsum

Klingon not your thing? Then consider Quenya, the elven language invented by J.R.R. Tolkien for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.

Example: Ta ter hecil yulda sairon, méla sáma vórima nó tuc. Mer lú astar avamarwa calacaltasisílafaina, aman náhanemnam avá ta. Onóro halda yá war, úr toa fion sundo valarauko, quellë omentië nu iel. Fánë harë minya ve tac. Nimba ambarenya haltacapa ría to, oa iel yúyo nurtalom. Sín costa caima calpa oa, heru palla rotelë yav rá.

Doctor Ipsum

Doctor Who is legendary for his vocabulary, and each incarnation has had his own unique takes on the English language. The Doctor Ipsum generate lets you create nonsensical text for any of the 12 known doctors or go nuts with the multi-doctor option. The text below is taken from the 10th Doctor:

Example: Black tie…Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens. New-new-Doctor. Allons-y! You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords. You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up ‘genocide’. You’ll find a little picture of me there, and the caption’ll read ‘Over my dead body’. Don’t you think she looks tired? Yeah? Well I’m the Lord of Time. Blimey, trying to make an Ood laugh…

Batman Ipsum

The doom and gloom of Gotham can now be part of your next project with Batman Ipsum, which culls text from the Christopher Nolan-directed Batman movies to create its text. It has the disadvantage of being too coherent and readable to those who understand English, which undermines one of the reasons you use Lorem Ipsum in the first place. Still … it’s Batman, and the amusement value alone may be worth it.

Example: I’m here to ensure the League of Shadow fulfills its duty to restore balance to civilization. You yourself fought the decadence of Gotham for years with all your strength, all your resources, all your moral authority. And the only victory you achieved was a lie. Now, you understand? Gotham is beyond saving and must be allowed to die.

Marvel Ipsum

In a world where Marvel has made hundreds of millions of dollars with a movie staring a talking raccoon and an mobile tree, why not used lorem ipsum text inspired by their movie and comic book summaries? Marvel Ipsum has the same readability problem as Batman Ipsum text, but as an unrepentant Marvel fanboy I couldn’t exclude it.

Example: The Avengers team like you’ve never seen them before. Earths Mightiest Heroes reunite with their biggest guns at the forefront to take on familiar enemies and new threats alike. The instructors at Avengers Academy hope to steer these super-powered and highly-troubled teens in the right direction, but twists and turns abound. Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and the rest of Earths Mightiest Heroes unite to stand against the threats none can face alone.

Star Trek Lorem Ipsum

Star Trek is legendary for its technobabble, so it’s not surprising that its lorem ipsum would be full of suitably scientific-sounding jargon.

Example: Unidentified vessel travelling at sub warp speed, bearing 235.7. Fluctuations in energy readings from it, Captain. All transporters off. A strange set-up, but I’d say the graviton generator is depolarized. The dark colourings of the scrapes are the leavings of natural rubber, a type of non-conductive sole used by researchers experimenting with electricity. The molecules must have been partly de-phased by the anyon beam.