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The Geek Tree

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Posted in by Kenneth Newquist on Sun, 06/25/2006 - 8:28pm
Clark Griswold: "When was the last time I overdid anything?"
-- Christmas Vacation

What is the Geek Tree? It's a Christmas tree with a speculative fiction theme. And what's speculative fiction? Speaking broadly, it's a uber-genre comprised of science fiction, fantasy and horror, though in the case of the Geek Tree, it's primarily sci-fi. The tree is re-built annually by Ken Newquist, Nuketown's editor. Questions, comments and suggestions about the Geek Tree can be sent to Ken via this form.

The Geek Tree Photo Gallery

After years of trying, I finally took some decent photos of the Geek Tree. I've posted them as a Flickr Gallery. There are 14 photos in all, but I may add one or two more to cover ornaments that I missed.

The History of the Geek Tree

Clark Griswold: "We're kicking off our fun old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols ... the Chrismas tree."
-- Christmas Vacation

The Geek Tree I got my first geek ornament in 1992. It was the Shuttlecraft Galileo from the original Star Trek series, and featured Leonard Nimoy offering holiday greetings. Over the next few years my collection slowly grew, usually with one or two new Star Trek ornament received as Christmas and birthday presents.

At the time, no one really minded my ornaments on the tree, not when I was living with my parents, and not when my wife Sue and I moved in together in 1995. Then in 1997 something happened -- I started accumulating ornaments as a greatly accelerated rate. That year I picked up four; then in 1998 I got eight. By the Christmas of 2001, I had 22 ornaments and my collection was on the verge of conquering a significant percentage of the Christmas tree. People started making comments. Sue ask if all the ornaments had to go up on the tree. And I was expecting even more ornaments to arrive with the holidays.

It was time for the exodus.

In 2001, I bought a $20 fake tree at Wal-mart -- a five-foot "evergreen". When I first opened the box, I was skeptical -- the branches seemed a little thin for supporting the weight of the larger ornaments -- but it's proven to be tougher than it looks. It was able to accommodate all of my ornaments, and was big enough to still have room for future expansions.

A tradition was born.

Designing the Geek Tree

Ellen Griswold: "Clark ... that tree wouldn't fit in our front yard."
Clark Griswold: "It's not going in our front yard ... it's going in our living room"
-- Christmas Vacation

The earliest versions of the geek tree used strands of colored lights at its base -- one strand close to the tree, the second lying near the outside. The powered ornaments on the tree mandated the use of non-flashing lights (for one thing, the flashing might short the ornaments out. For another, even I would get sick of hearing the ornaments power-up every few seconds).

Unfortunately, there were a couple of problems with the colored lights. First, the trees with colored lights tend to be slightly dimmer than white lights. The trees get even dimmer when you start removing lights and in favor of powered ornaments, because the ornaments are never as bright as the bulbs they replace. Second, you need to pay attention to exactly what colors you're removing. The first time around I didn't do that and unwittingly ended up way too many pink lights. The next year I used a brighter strand of lights, hoping the tree would stand out more. It worked ... somewhat. But the problem with having too many of the same color lights remained.

In 2002 I moved to white lights, and that helped considerably, providing the powered ornaments with the energy they needed and brightening the tree considerably, but it was still too dim. And there was another problem that adding another strand of white lights wouldn't solve -- the tree just didn't move. I don't mean that it didn't physically move -- memories of my grandparents fake-fruit covered artificial rotating tree are enough to turn me off to spinning trees in general. What I mean is that it didn't have any visual motion to it -- it just sat there.

I remedied that problem by adding chasing lights to the tree in 2003. These lights are encased in a plastic tube (a la Buck Rogers' runways, which furthers the sci-fi theme) and "chase" each other up the tree. It worked out great -- the lights animate the tree while simultaneously providing the extra boost of illumination the ornaments needed.

After that Christmas, it was clear that the original Geek Tree was on the verge of being overloaded by the sheer number of ornaments. It was time for an upgrade, and in 2004 I bought a new tree: a seven-foot-tall "narrow" about three feet in diameter. It's pre-lit, and to make sure I don't lose any of these not-easily-replaceable bulbs, I use a secondary string to power the tree's myriad ornaments. The other notable upgrade in 2004 was the addition of the "geek" tree skirt. Made by my mom as a Christmas present, the quilted skirt features rockets and ringed planets on a blue background.

For 2005, I think I've finally found the perfect tree topper -- a 6.5" tall Santa Yoda. With his legs taped to a dowel, I think he'll make for an excellent tree topper, replacing the glowing blue coil I'd been using for the last few years.

One of my earlier goals had been to diversify the Geek Tree beyond Star Wars and Star Trek ornaments, and over the last few years I've made a fair amount of progress. The geek tree now has a smattering of fantasy ornaments, in the form of Gandalf the Grey, Frodo Baggins and several characters from the Harry Potter books and movies. It's also has a number of superhero characters, including Batman and Spiderman.

Future Plans for the Geek Tree

So what's next for the geek tree? I've got a few ideas.

  • Run a Train: Running a model train under the Christmas tree is a long-running tradition for me. I'd like to add a train to the geek tree, in particular, I'm thinking of buying the Harry Potter HO gauge train. Having the Hogwart's Express running beneath the geek tree would be too damn cool. Well, for geeks anyway.

  • Borg the Tree: Being that this is a geek tree, it seems fitting that the tree be cyberized to some extent. I may throw a wireless card in one of my old laptops and set-up a webcam. I'd also love to borrow a page from the students at the Rensseraer Polytechnic Institute, who created a Web-controlled tree they called Geeky Christmas 1.0.

  • Geek Snow Village: Snow villages -- ceramic recreations of Main Street USA or Victorian England -- have become omnipresent during the holidays. Creating a sci-fi version, based (of course) around Hoth, would complement the tree's theme nicely. It will, however, have to wait until my daughter's old enough not to pull a Godzilla on the landscape.

Ornaments of Today

Clark Griswold: "250 strands of lights, 100 individual bulbs per strand, for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights. Drum roll please!"
-- Christmas Vacation

The Geek Tree presently has 46 speculative fiction ornaments hanging on its boughs. Of these ornaments, 19 have lights, and 11 have sound. The oldest ornament is Shuttlecraft Galileo (Star Trek: The Original Series) from 1992 while the newest ornament is Gandalf the Grey (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring) from 2005.

Boba Fett

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 9

Everyone's favorite bounty hunter is easily the best of the "action figure" ornamnets. His pose looks a little stiff, but his armor is suitably weathered and he looks sufficiently menacing. Definitely an ornament to seek out.

Borg Cube

  • Source: Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2000
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 10

You've got to love the Borg, especially when their ornament says "We are the Borg. Enjoy your holidays. Resistance is futile." Nothing sums up the spirit of the geek tree more than that! The ornament is, naturally enough, a cube. Internal lighting leaks through the outer shell, accurately depicting a Borg cube's menacing glow (and succeeding where a similar effect on the Death Star failed).

C-3PO

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2003
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

C-3PO is a great ornament for the Geek Tree. First, he's a signature character from one of the greatest science fiction series of all time, so naturally he deserves a spot. But he's also excellent as an ornament, because his golden hide reflects the tree lights beautifully.

Chewbacca and C-3PO

  • Source: Star Wars Episode VI: The Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

This ornament depicts the classic scenes from Empire after Chewbacca finds 3PO about to be shredded and starts to re-assemble him. He's interrupted by the discovery of Imperial troops in Cloud City, and straps the disassembled droid on his back. It's a fine sculpture, and as always Goldenrod's finish does a good job of lightning up the tree.

Darth Vader

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1997
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 9

"You have learned much young Skywalker É but you are not a Jedi yet," Darth Vader warns every time the geek tree powers up. This 1997 ornament is one of my favorite -- it features Darth Vader in a saber-down position, looking as though he's about to lash out at Luke. And, of course, the dialogue just rocks.

Darth Vader

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Christopher Radko
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 3

I won't lie -- this isn't my favorite ornament. It's a black glass bust of Darth Vader, which is cool, but it has red glitter sprinkled over it, which is not. Granted, the glitter does make the ornament sparkle nicely in a darkened room, but I'd rather have seen a more metallic (like silver) glitter.

Darth Vader's TIE Fighter

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1999
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

I already have one speaking-Darth Vader ornament, so the fact that this one doesn't speak doesn't bother me too much. That said, the lighting isn't impressive enough to warrant much enthusiasm -- yes, the cockpit is lit, allowing you to see the Darth Vader cut out, and the two laser ports glow red, but the rest of the ship is dark. I'd like to have seen some running lights.

Death Star

  • Source: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2002
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 6

The sculptor of this ornament tried to recapture the soft glow of window lights scattered throughout the Death Star, but unfortunately, the effect doesn't quite work -- the ornament's internal lighting makes the skin look vaguely rotten. On the plus side, the ornament's voice side features the Emperor mocking Luke Skywalker, telling him that the battle station is fully armed and operational. It ends with the sound of the Death Star powering up for firing.

Delta Flyer

  • Source: Star Trek: Voyager
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2002
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 8

Why do we hear Janeway speak on this ornament, and not on the actual Voyager ornament? I don't have a clue, but at least we've got one ornament with her speaking (and that's one more than Kirk). As a ship, the Delta Flyer isn't particularly impressive (the best part of the on-screen ship were Paris' retro controls, but obviously they don't show up on this ornament), but on this scale the red/blue of the illuminated nacelles gives some needed color to the tree.

Ewoks

  • Source: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

This set of mini ornaments comprised of comprised of three Ewoks -- one's blowing a horn, another holds a baby, and the third is a spear-wielding Wicket. The only problem I have with these ornaments (and their kin) is that they are so damn small! They are very easy to lose on all but the smallest trees, so its essential that you place them in a cluster so you can find them again later.

Frodo Baggins

  • Source: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

arrival of Lord of the Rings ornaments provided an excellent way for me to expand the scope of the Geek Tree beyond the Star Wars and Star Trek ornaments that had dominated it for so long. This sculpture depicts Frodo in his green elven cloak, wielding his uncle's sword, Sting.

Gandalf the Grey

  • Source: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2005
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

The grey-robed Gandalf, as he appeared in The Fellowship of the Ring. He stands with his staff in his left hand, and his long-stemmed pipe in his right. It's a nice looking sculpt, but it could have been made far better by having him recite the famous "One Ring" poem.

Gungan Submarine

  • Source: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2000
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 3

An ornament commemorating one of the stupidest parts of The Phantom Menace: the Jedi's 5-minute trip through the "planetary core" of Naboo. Like it's namesake, the submarine looks like a dried fish out of the water (so at least you can say its accurate). It's a powered ornament, but the lights don't add much to the tree's overall presentation. It's also weirdly balanced, so it rarely hangs straight off a branch. This is definitely a third-tier ornament, useful only if you need to flesh out a tree.

Harry Potter and Hedwig

  • Source: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

A cool two piece sculpt featuring Harry bracing to allow his owl Hedwig to land on his arm. Inspired by the movie version of Harry, his sculpture has Harry wearing his traditional black robes and school uniform. It's a cut above more generic one I got in 2005.

Harry Potter and Hedwig

  • Source: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • Company: Seasonal Specialities
  • Year: 2005
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

Inspired by the book artwork for Harry Potter (rather than the movies) this ornament depicts Harry hanging a small red ornament, while holding a Christmas present. He wears his traditional Hogwarts black robes, and is accompanied by his snow owl Hedwig (a separate ornament) who holds a small red Christmas card. This was a cheap ornament -- only $5.99 at Target -- and it shows on the scultpure, which is adequate, but only just.

Harry Potter Ornaments (Misc)

  • Source: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
  • Company: eXmas
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

A collection of four Harry Potter ornaments, including Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid and Harry himself. Hermione is depicting holding her books, Ron holds up a wand, Harry is riding a broom during a Quidditch match and Hagrid is, well, Hagrid. The characters are loosely based on the films, sharing their look and feel, though the faces on each are decidedly generic. Given the few Potter ornaments that were available at the time, this was a good buy, particularly since each ornament cost $3.34.

Jedi Council Members

  • Source: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2000
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 5

Three Jedi Masters from Episode I comprise this set of miniature ornaments: Saesee Tiin, Yoda and Ki-Adi-Mundi. They don't do much niche-wise for the tree, and like the Ewoks, they are very easy to lose if you don't cluster them together.

Jedi Master Yoda

  • Source: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2003
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

Yoda finally got to kick a little ass in Episode 2. This ornament depicts the Jedi Master wielding a green lightsaber.

Klingon Bird of Prey

  • Source: Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1994
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

One of the oldest ornaments in the collection (I think it was the second one I received), the Klingon Bird of Prey is a solid, if not spectacular ornament. The wing-joints feature soft red lights, but what really makes it work is the flashing yellow disrupter cannon. That cannon stands out surprisingly well on the tree, and adds some much-needed motion to the tree.

Luke Skywalker

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1997
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

The blue lightsaber-wielding Luke from Empire Strike Back is a good second-tier ornament, the kind you get to flesh out the extremities of the tree. My version of the ornament has a little too much brown wash for the shadowing (he looks as though he walked through thigh-deep mud puddle on the way to Bespin) but the rest of the sculpt holds up well.

Luke Skywalker

  • Source: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2002
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

One of the few Star Wars figures whose depicted in an action pose, this figure shows Luke Skywalker in his two-handed saber stance from the battle scenes on Jabba's barge. This figure would be great if the lightsaber lit up (which would have made it easier to find the black-suited Luke on a tree).

Naboo Starfighter

  • Source: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1999
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

Episode I is hardly my favorite Star Wars movie, but the Naboo Starfighter works great as an ornament. The silvered front end does a great job of reflecting the tree lights, increasing the ambient light on the tree. This is more important than one might suspect -- as the number of powered ornaments on the tree has increased, the number of normal tree lights has decreased. Since normal lights are generally brighter than ornament lights, the overall effect is to dim the tree. Anything that increases the amount of light without using up yet another light-bulb spot is excellent.

Padme Amidala

  • Source: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2003
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

The former Queen wields a blaster and wears a skin-tight Princess Leia-like white outfit.

Princess Leia

  • Source: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

Princess Liea may not be an ornament that geeks were crying for, but she's useful for rounding out a tree. She's wearing her "A New Hope" white robes and her classic danish braids.

R2-D2

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2001
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 6

A rudimentary sculpt of R2 that looks more like one of the old Kenner action figures (ok, dolls) than an ornament. He beeps if you press a small button hidden on R2's head. Still he's nice to have for completeness sake (especially once I get 3PO).

Romulan War Bird

  • Source: Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

The green wing nacelles on this ornament complement its metallic green color. I've never been a big fan of this particular ship, and that's probably taken it down a notch with my rating.

Shuttlecraft Galileo

  • Source: Star Trek: The Original Series
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1992
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 10

My very first "geek" ornament, the Shuttlecraft Galileo features Mr. Spock saying "Shuttlecraft to Enterprise, Shuttlecraft to Enterprise, Happy Holidays." Nostalgia alone is enough to win this a 10 rating, but I also love the Leonard Nimoy's speech. The scuplt is admittedly simplistic -- only the cockpit lights up -- but it still works.

Slave 1 Starfighter

  • Source: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2002
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

This die-cast metal version of Slave I is easily the heaviest ornament on the geek tree, so much so that it needs to be placed fairly near to the trunk to avoid unbalancing it. It's a nicely-detailed ornament, but has no special effects, not even running lights.

Space Station Deep Space Nine

  • Source: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2001
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 6

A faithful interpretation of DS9 -- to the point that you can have miniature starships "docked" with it, this ornament nonetheless has a few drawbacks. It has "sound and lights", but unlike the other Star Trek ornaments, it must be plugged into a special base for it to work (when it does, you hear Captain Sisko extolling the virtues of his DS9 crew) That prevents it from being used as an ornament, which is disappointing. DS9 is ok as an ornament, but it would have been even better as a tree-topper.

Spider-man

  • Source: Spider-man 2
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

While technically inspired by the Spider-man 2 movie, in reality, this is a fairly generic sculpt depicting the web-slinger in his blue/red tights, hanging from some webbing, reading to shoot another line. It's a decent sculpt, and good for Spidey fans, but nothing stellar.

Spider-man Mini Ornament Set

  • Source: Spiderman (misc. comic books)
  • Company: Kurt S. Adler
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

A mixed set of miniature ornaments featuring two blue-and-red Spider-men, one black "alien symbiote" Spider-man and two villians: Green Goblin and Doc Octopus. I picked up this collection at Lowe's, and it was a good deal considering the $6 price tag. Buying it got me two new supervillians and three Spideys, and while the sculptures aren't perfect, the paint jobs are better than you'd expect. All in all, it was an excellent way of diversifying the Geek Tree.

Star Destroyer and Blockade Runner

  • Source: Star Wars Episode VI: A New Hope
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 9

Now here's a cool looking ornament recreating the classic opening to the original Star Wars. It features an illuminated Star Destroyer (powered via a bulb socket) with a small "Blockade Runner' figurine hanging off it's bow. It includes sound; to hear it you press a small button which starts a dialouge between R2D2 and C-3PO.

Star Trek: "The City on the Edge of Forever"

  • Source: Stak Trek: The Original Series
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 10

One of my favorite ornaments, this one features Kirk and Spock stepping through the Guardian of Forever on a quest for a deranged Dr. McCoy, who fled through the gateway earlier and damaged history. It's illuminated via a bulb socket, and includes a small sound clip featuring Spock and Kirk speaking to the Guaridan. Great episode, great sculpt, great ornament.

Starfleet Legends

  • Source: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2001
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

Another triumverate of miniature ornaments. This one includes the U.S.S. Enterprise E, the U.S.S. Defiant and U.S.S. Voyager. The ships are designed for use with the Deep Space Nine ornament (they hang from small hooks on the station's arms and central ring). Of the mini ornament sets, these are the ones I like most -- they are true to their source material (an impressive feat at this scale) and compliment another ornament. That said, like all of the mini ornaments, they are easy to lose if you eskew the space station and put them on a tree.

The Caped Crusader: Batman

  • Source: Batman (misc. comics)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2004
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

Batman, standing on a stone chimney, Bat-cloak extended, ready to take flight. This is one of the few "motion" ornaments I have -- if you pull on the small Bat signal hanging from the bottom of the ornament, his wings flex. It's a somewhat cheesy effect, but true motion would have cost a lot more.

The Scorpion

  • Source: Star Trek: Nemesis
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2003
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 5

I'm not sure who thought it would be a good idea to pick and obscure spacecraft from one of the less popular Star Trek to be the 2003 franchise ornament. While there's nothing wrong with this sculpt -- it's sufficiently scifi-ish, and has the added benefit of being illuminated -- there are plenty of other Star Trek minis that fans would have loved to see (the Reliant and Excelsior come immediately to mind.

The Vehicles of Star Wars

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1996
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

Miniature versions of three classic vehicles from the Star Wars universe: the X-Wing fighter, the TIE Fighter, and the AT-AT walker. It's ok, but I'd rather have seen a set dedicated to the capital ships (a la the Star Trek minis for Deep Space Nine). As with all mini ornaments, these are easy to lose if you don't group them together on the tree).

TIE Fighter

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2003
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 9

Unlit, but still very cool, this TIE Fighter ornament dominates whatever potion of the tree it's on. It nicely complements the X-Wing from 1998 and Darth Vader's own TIE from 1999.

U.S.S. Defiant

  • Source: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1997
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

The "Borg-busting" Defiant is a squat, back-heavy ornament that still manages to impress thanks to a well-done light scheme. The warp nacelles light up, as does the forward deflector array and parts of the bridge. There's are also flashing navigation lights on the top.

U.S.S. Enterprise NC-1701 D

  • Source: Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1992
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 9

The Enterprise D, flagship of the Next Generation series, is one of the earliest Star Trek ornaments. It's a well-lit ornament, with the ship's nacelles glowing blue/red and the large deflecter array intense red lighting. It'd've been perfect if Picard spoke when the ornament was plugged in.

U.S.S. Enterprise NC-1701 E

  • Source: Star Trek: First Contact
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 8

The Enterprise E is my second favorite version of the Enterprise (The 1701-A's my favorite). The ornament, like the ship, is slender and has subtly lighted warp nacelles and because of that it tends to be overlooked on a crowded tree. That said, it's still a beautiful ornament, and a welcome addition to any tree.

U.S.S. Enterprise NX-01

  • Source: Star Trek: Enterprise
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 2002
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: Y
  • Rating: 5

The flagship of the Enterprise television series is as disappointing as the television offering. It's a diecast metal model designed to be "displayed" using a plastic base. Pressing a button on the base prompts a line of dialouge spoken by Captain Archer. The ornament weighs a ton, and has no internal illumination. Useful for balancing out the far more impressive (but equally weighty) Slave I.

U.S.S. Voyager

  • Source: Star Trek: Voyager
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1996
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

A solid second-tier ornament -- not one of the stand-outs, but one that does helps to round out the tree. Its deflector glows a purplish-blue color that stands out in a darkened room. The sculpt should have had sound to complement its lights (I'd like to have all of the Trek captain's speaking when the tree's turned on) but it is decent as is.

X-Wing Starfighter

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

At first glance, the X-Wing looks cool, but a second one disappoints. The ornament's powered, but only the engines on the back of the ship light up. I'd like to have seen the cockpit light up as well. There's no voice component (and shouldn't we have Luke saying saying something?) and the wings are locked in the open position. Am I expecting a little too much from an ornament? Perhaps -- after all, no other ornament can change its wings, so why should this one be any different.

X-Wing Starfighter

  • Source: Star Wars (multiple movies)
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1998
  • Lights?: Y
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 7

At first glance, the X-Wing looks cool, but a second one disappoints. The ornament's powered, but only the engines on the back of the ship light up. I'd like to have seen the cockpit light up as well. There's no voice component (and shouldn't we have Luke saying saying something?) and the wings are locked in the open position. Am I expecting a little too much from an ornament? Perhaps -- after all, no other ornament can change its wings, so why should this one be any different.

Yoda

  • Source: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
  • Company: Hallmark
  • Year: 1997
  • Lights?: N
  • Sounds?: N
  • Rating: 6

Another "action-figure" type ornament. The sclupt is decent enough, though Yoda's robes seem a little too brown. The little-green Jedi Master isn't powered, so don't expect any words of wisdom after hanging him up.

Ornaments of Future Past

There are a few ornaments and decorations that I've love to have for the tree, but alas, don't actually exist in this world (and most likely never will).

  • Levitating Candles: There's an excellent scene in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone where they enter the great hall and see hundreds of floating white candles. Who wouldn't want a few of those hovering around their tree?

  • Holographic Snow Flakes: More inspiration from Harry Potter, this time from The Chamber of Secrets. During the second movie our heroes once again enter the great hall, but this time the roof of it is filled with slowly failing snow flakes. Imagine the geek tree wrapped in an artificial snow storm, perhaps with the occasional snow speeder flying by.

  • Pulsar Ornaments: One of the only things I liked about Star Trek: Generations were the very cool crystal ornament's Picard sees on his nephew's Christmas tree. These clear ornaments had a small pulsar inside that would repeatedly flare up, filling the ornament with light, and then die away.