Topping the Geek Tree

Two years ago, my science fiction ornaments were on the verge of conquering the evergreen-space of our Christmas Tree.

Other ornaments — clear-glass bulbs and small brass ornaments we bought when we were in Wind Gap, nostalgic “Christmas of 19xx” balls, old hand-knitted creations from Sue’s childhood — were nearly overwhelmed by an SF legion including TIE Fighters, various incarnations of the Enterprise, and — of course — Yoda. My wife was dismayed at the litany that confronted her whenever she plugged in the tree: The Borg intoning “We Are the Borg. Resistance is Futile. Happy Holidays.” and Darth Vader praising Luke for his prowess … but declaring that he was not a Jedi yet.

It was time for the Geek Tree.

We bought a small artificial tree, which I set-up in the living room (the main tree being in the library). Most (but not all) of the ornaments were moved there — a few token representatives of my SF empire remained behind as a reminder of its former dominion.

The geek tree has evolved nicely over the last few years as I’ve acquired more and more ornaments (many given to me by my parents). The tree’s crammed with ornaments, and I may have to go with a bigger tree this year in order to fit them all on. I’ve also purchased some “chasing” rope lights (think Buck Rogers) in order to liven up the tree a bit.

Only one thing is missing: a tree topper. Now normally I don’t start thinking about Christmas until later in the month — it always drives me nuts when people throw up Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. But this is a quest that has stymied me several times in years past, so I’m started the search earlier than normal this year.

At first, I thought I might be able to use the Deep Space Nine ornament that came out last year, but it’s not entirely stable when mounted atop an evergreen, and its lights and audio won’t work unless its plugged into its base.

Naturally, your average angel won’t work — it’s simply blasphemous (in terms of the geek tree theme, not God, though naturally your opinion may vary…). A conventional star of some sort (perhaps a Moravian star?) could work, but it seems so, well, conventional. The geek tree really needs something spectacularly geek to top it off.

Unfortunately, I have yet to find that topper. I’m hoping to find something when the holiday season shifts into full gear — maybe the Christmas Barn in Easton will have something. Or maybe I’ll find something at Hallmark.

Or maybe you’ll think of something. If you have any ideas for tree-toppers for the geek tree, e-mail me at

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