Democrats Want Me

The Democrats want me. Really they do. Why else would they keep calling me at home? Over the last month, I’ve received two phone calls from Democratic volunteers querying me about how I intended to vote in the election (and, of course, drumming up voter participation in general — presumably not mentioning that would get them in campaign finance hot water).

The first one could have been for Sue, but I answered the phone, so I was the one who got to answer the questions. I haven’t actually decided whom I’m voting for yet, but always like to surprise pollers by giving them unexpected answers, so I told them I was probably going to vote Libertarian. The woman wasn’t expecting that; I could just imagine her eyes skimming madly down her volunteer outline, trying to figure out how the heck to deal with that response (seeing as how there are only 800 or so Libertarians in Northampton County, PA). Heck, she apparently had to add a new column to her spreadsheet just to accommodate me.

The second call, which I missed, but Sue got, was expressly for me. Again, the guy on the phone was apparently somewhat surprised when she told him I was probably voting Libertarian. But happy too, since that’s one less vote that Bush won’t be getting. In theory at least.

And the Republicans? I haven’t heard a peep from them. Perhaps its just a matter of time, but I get the feeling that they aren’t trying nearly as hard this election as they did in 2000, that they’re assuming they’ve got my vote, just ’cause I voted for Bush four years ago. Not that they know that of course, but I do have this sense that they’re resting on their laurels. At least in Northampton County, Pa.

That’s dangerous for the Republicans, very dangerous. Because you see, before I voted for Bush, I voted for Clinton. Twice. And while I don’t know if I could bring myself to vote for Kerry, the Libertarians remain a possibility.

So to the Republicans out there, I say this: Woo me. Tell me why I should vote for the party that’s turned its back on free markets and small government in favor of socialized health care and Big Brother government. Tell me, in short, why I should vote Republican instead of bolting for a party that, to paraphrase Stephen King’s gunslinger, hasn’t forgotten the face of its fathers.

Convince me. Because time is not on your side.

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