The Great Geek T-Shirt Quest of 2004

I need more geek t-shirts.

I used to get pick up a new shirt or two every year at GenCon, but it’s been three years since I last visited that holy geek mecca, and the shirts happily purchased there are starting to show signs of wear. Their once-fine blacks are fading to a dull, flat dark gray, while others have acquired stains and rips from years of hard use.

What’s a geek to do? Well, since a road-trip to GenCon or Origins is out this year, there is the Internet, and it’s always open.

My first stop was Think Geek, which carries all manner of geek goodness, including more than a few cryptic, borderline-arcane t-shirts.

  • <geek>: Just a simple “geek” XML tag, light green text on a black background. Sums things up nicely I think.
  • No, I will not fix your computer: Oh the times I’ve wanted to scream this at someone. Now, understand that I don’t really mind helping people with their computers, but occasionally, when you have a bad week, the desire to help is replaced with the urge to kill.
  • RTFM: Another favorite phrase that I’ve occasionally wanted to scream at users, especially when the answer really is in the f*cking manual.
  • I Dig Mac OS X: Now this is one — as a Mac fan and as a German Shepherd owner, that I must get.

These t-shirts are cool, but I really need to replace my fading gaming t-shirts.

To that end, and remembering the excellent “Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned From Gaming” Dork Tower t-shirt I picked up at GenCon, I decided to check out John Kovlic’s Web site. In his “Dork Store” I found plenty of cool shirts, but particularly liked this one:

  • All Your Dice Are Belong to Us: Yeah, the whole “All Your Base Belong To Us” thing is old hat now, but it still amuses me. They also had this “Everything I Needed To Know…” mug, but $15 is too pricy for my tastes.

The Godllike CafePress store has a couple of cool shirts, of which I like this best:

  • Baba Yaga: The mad Russian Talent tramples his way across this t-shirt, which has the “Godlike” logo on the back.

And while we’re on the subject of Dennis Detwiller, there’s also Delta Green T-shirt out there for DGML, the Delta Green Mailing List.

  • DGML: On the front, it’s got the text “Delta Green: Providing Plausible Deniability Since 1942” and on the back it has a list of “World Tour” dates corresponding to major Mythos happenings.

Unfortunately, Phase Press does not sell their excellent Amber shirts (with quotes from the Chronicles of Amber books by Roger Zelazny) via their web site. I’m in deparate need of a new one of those — the three I own are looking particularly ratty — but I think those’ll have to wait until my next GenCon trip.

So that’s my list of T-shirts. If you know of any good ones — especially gaming related ones — e-mail ’em to me at

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