I’m going to be a dad.
Other declaratives of a more expletive nature come to mind, but I try and keep Nuketown somewhat PG-13.
And besides, I need to watch my language. I’m going to be a dad.
I still can’t get over it. I’m writing this two days after it was official. My wife and I had our suspicions – there are certain signs and portents (such as a late period, breast soreness, visiting our friends who have a baby and finding the name “Jacob” carved into a bench when we stopped to change her) – but we didn’t know until Sunday (7/21).
The pregnancy test is still sitting on the bathroom counter. Neither of us can bring ourselves to throw it out. Maybe its because it’s the only concrete sign we have – Sue’s feeling a little off, but the nausea of the first trimester hasn’t appeared yet (and with any luck, it won’t … but that’s probably not very realistic). There are slight changes in her appearance, but nothing that says “hey, I’m pregnant!” Not like there will be four or five months from now. So every time I look at that test, and see the second purple line indicating it’s positive, that we really are going to have a baby, I can’t stop smiling.
And so I leave it there for another day.
I’m going to be a dad. After all the years we’ve talked about it, after all the years I’ve longed for it, it’s finally going to happen. I’m ready. I’ve been slowly wrapping up plot lines in my D&D campaign in anticipation of stepping down as the full-time DM. And of course, I ditched Nuketown’s Fiction section and monthly editions. The reasons I gave back in June were valid, but this is the real one. And I’ve been bracing myself for the loss of free time that will inevitably follow the birth of our son or daughter. I still plan to do some writing, and I need to play D&D at least a few times a month to maintain my sanity (and of course, I’ll be sure that my wife gets her own precious reserve of free time).
But being ready and knowing it’s coming still hasn’t prepared me for this. The simple realization that I’m going to be a dad. When I think of it, ten thousand thoughts and a thousand words flicker through my mind and love for my wife and our unborn baby surges through my heart, but ultimately, it all comes down to three little letters and one tiny word: